Mirror, Mirror...

When I was younger you could most often find me attached to my grandfather's hip. Understandable when you consider the fact that I worshiped the man. I loved and loved being with Papa (Pronounced Paw paw) so much, that most weekends would find me camping out at my grandparents house bugging him to go fishing and my grandmother to make pot roast.

Early one Saturday morning, Papa and I were walking out of Vaughn's grocery having just procured all the needed supplies for the day's fishing trip. For him that was a Styrofoam carton of night-crawlers, a six-pack of Budweiser, and a pouch of Redman chewing tobacco; for me that was an armful of potted meat food product, Slim-Jims, a pouch of Big League Chew, and a pack of Garbage Pail Kid collector cards.

Trust me. You can't catch fish without Garbage Pail Kid cards. It just isn't done.

As we were leaving the store, my grandfather and I passed a man who exchanged a quick series of grunts with us that only now, as an adult, do I realize was an attempt to cover hostility with civility. Still, even as a hyper-active eight year old who was both chowing down on a ham biscuit and trying to balance the menagerie of processed foods I was carrying, I was observant enough to notice the less than warm exchange.

Later, on the bank of the pond, our lines in the water and our floats rising and falling gently with the swell of the surface, I asked Papa why he and the other man didn't like one another. His answer didn't come right away. He took a long drag from his cigarette, exhaled deeply and said, "There's something about that guy that I don't like about myself."

I stared down at my potted meat and tomato sandwich and nodded to myself knowing that my grandfather had just imparted a profound bit of wisdom, even if its meaning yet escaped my understanding.

It would be many years later, as a young adult, that I would truly discover what my grandfather meant; that often when we meet someone who rubs us the wrong way, it's because we see in them a character trait that we despise. And often, that trait is one that we recognize in ourselves like a pair of alley cats, arched backed and hissing over the same territory. It's the purest kind of mirror and let's face it... no one likes to see their ugliness reflected back at them.

I found myself face to face with that same hideous reflection last week when I saw my tendency to be an insufferable know-it-all reflected in the attitude of a good friend.

Last September at Dragon*Con, a Science Fiction/Fantasy convention that is held annually here in Atlanta, I had the misfortune to fracture two of my vertebrae and collapse the discs between them (I swear this is relevant to my point). For financial reasons medical care has been scarce and recovery slow. Many doctors have had many opinions; the most recent (and most agreed upon) being that I need to lose nearly a hundred pounds; that being overweight was a strain on my body and that reducing it would help not only my back but with many other problems.

Well... duh.

Having always struggled with my weight, I decided that it was finally time to make the choice to be healthy.

Never one to do anything half-assed, I took the advice and ran with it. I began doing research on the proper way to eat, the correct foods, exercises that I could do in my condition; everything I would need to make this weight loss happen and permanent. I went so far as to calculate my daily caloric requirement and type it up in a nice format on my laptop. I was making a sincere effort; not to diet but to change my entire lifestyle. I was proud of that effort and the enthusiasm with which I was pursuing the goal.

When I presented the research to my friend, LK, to share what I thought was a successful first step on a very long journey, I was promptly told that my information was wrong. After a quick search on the web I was barraged with an onslaught of different and contradicting information.

It wasn't that LK's information was incorrect or that I minded the contradiction. Quite the opposite, in fact. I'm passionate about learning and wish to learn all I can about every subject that interests me. It was the callousness and tactlessness with which she disregarded and flung aside my effort that offended. It abraded and stung. I was left feeling discouraged; all the enthusiasm drained from me. I called LK on her behavior, which understandably upset her, and she left leaving a sense of hurtful discourse hanging in the air.

Some time later, as I meditated in the soft light of a candle and the white noise of my A/C, I began to realize that what upset me most was not that LK had contradicted me or told me that I was wrong. What upset me most was that she had, unintentionally reminded me of one of my biggest character flaws.

No one would argue that I am intelligent (Humble, too. I forgot humble). Ask any of my friends and they will confirm my statement if my writing has not. However, I will be the first to admit that I can be quite inconsiderate when it comes to the intelligence and opinions of others. When you're wrong (or if I think you are)... I'll tell you and I'm not always nice about it. In fact, I can be altogether abrasive; tearing down another and leaving pain in my wake. It's a shortcoming that I struggle to leash on a daily basis and it was an unpleasant experience to see the flaw paralleled in my friend; to feel that tickle in the back of my psyche that says, "Hey. That's you."

At some point during my meditation I realized that I was grateful for the reminder that LK had given me. It corrected my perception of myself and I was able to reach a higher place spiritually as a result of the lesson that was learned; a reward well worth the momentary sojourn outside of my comfort zone.

So the next time that guy at work or that girl at the check out counter pushes your buttons and throws you left of your center, I encourage you to stop for a second and take a introspective look at yourself. Make an effort to discover if there is something mirrored in that person that you feel that you can improve in yourself. Make the effort to grow and ascend to something more than you are.

And, after that, if you find that you simply don't like the person... punch them in the temple. The look on their face will make you giggle.


-D

Hanging Ten...

So, my roommate, Frosty, and I have decided that our house is much too small for two adult men with our spacial needs. Co-habitation has become cumbersome. And considering that I have not perfected the pocket dimension I've been working on during my free time ( I keep telling him that the dog will turn up eventually ) I have decided to move, locally at first and then out of state, to a geographical location that is both closer to my daughter and more pleasant than having the inside of my skull scraped clean with rusty trowels by a group of uncoordinated lawn gnomes.

Wish me luck.

Needless to say, my life is in a right state of upheaval at the moment and I haven't had the time or the opportunity to show the Labyrinth the TLC it so deserves. So, imagine my surprise when I log on today to find that I now have ten dedicated minions! That, my loves, is nine more than I dreamed for and ten more than I expected. JOY!

So, in lieu of a proper blog post, I have decided to celebrate breaking the double digit mark by making a short ( but awesome ) list of things, in no particular order, that honor the number ten.

Surf Movies...

If you watched Point Break or North Shore or some other surf movie and didn't walk around for the next week talking about hanging ten on gnarly waves and calling everyone you met "brah" then you did it wrong.

The Roman Numeral X...

This dude is everywhere. He's on clocks, belt buckles, logos, and anything else you can lay eyes and hands on. He's the hardest working number in show biz and doesn't look to be stopping any time soon.

Sesame Street...

The Count. Nuff said. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Lists...

How many times do you see the top ten list? My guess is that you can not only think of a few that everyone would know, like the top ten songs of the week, but that you also have a few of your own. Like your top ten most embarrassing moments, your top ten places to get falling down pissed and throw up, and your top ten best pranks to play on your neighbor who lives in her car.

Pearl Jam's TEN...

Wouldn't you have loved to have been in the creative meeting with Pearl Jam when they thought up this beauty? Hey guys. We need to name our album. What should we name it? How about a number? Cool. I'm down with that. Fifty seven? No... it needs to be simple. How about ten? Rock on! Regardless, this album rocks my world.

Bowling Pins...

Knock 'em down. They get right back up. That's my kinda pin.

The Commandments...

Ah. The fabled commands of the Lord almighty. Carved in stone on these sacred tablets are the ten things that should be COMMON BLOODY SENSE. Still, I have to wonder what happened to the eleventh commandment that says to, "Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!"

The Case of Guinness your friend buys you for your birthday...

For the record, a case of Guinness holds twelve bottles. The one that I received on my birthday had ten and was held closed on one end with duct tape. Methinks something is fishy under the ocean.

Hot Dogs...

Yes. Delicious delicious hot dogs. Hot dogs come in tens. Why then do buns come in eights? Who screwed up?!

Neon...

Standing tall and proud on the periodic table, Neon is not afraid to tell the world... well, the strip clubs, honky tonks, and carnivals of the world that it is here to stay.

*Thanks to Annabelle for her creative and intellectual contribution!!